By Elayne Savage, PhD
I have to admit I've been totally enthralled by the taking it personally aspects of the George Washington Bridge lane closure controversy. As you may be aware, the closures caused traffic jams for 4 days on the busiest bridge in the world.
And it's becoming an exciting whodunit ever since subpoenaed documents show the closures appear to be ordered by high ranking staff in Governor Chris Christie's office.
I got hooked when I read a NYT article about bulling in late December and commented online. (You'll find this and other timeline and background links below.)
I actually started writing this blog that day in December, but had not sent it out before now because every day the story leaps ahead with new twists and turns.
I don't mean for my observations to be taken as a political statement. It's mostly musings about the frailty of human nature, how easy it is to take things personally and the trouble it tends to creates when things get out of hand.
I would be most interested in your ideas on the state of affairs in the State of New Jersey – and on this kind of political climate that tends to exist in general.
Taking Things Personally Can Lead to Big Problems
Perhaps you know as well as I, how taking things personally often leads to overreactions – some of which we may come to regret. Mr. Christie's staff appears to be finding this out the hard way.
When we take something personally we perceive someone's actions as a personal affront. We feel slighted or wronged or attacked. We might feel something is unfair. Sometimes it seems others are taking sides or are out to get us. Perhaps we feel someone is disloyal and we feel betrayed. Any of these experiences can lead to an overreaction.
We don't know exactly what happened to prompt Bridget Anne Kelly, Gov. Christie's deputy chief of staff, to e-mail David Wildstein on August 13, “Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee."
Wildstein, a long-time acquaintance of and top Christie appointee at the Port Authority immediately answered, "Got it."
Three weeks after this e-mail exchange, two of the three access lanes from Fort Lee onto the bridge were shut down – with no prior warning to motorists.
What resulted was an hours-long traffic jam on the bridge and across the city of Fort Lee that continued for four days. People were late for work, emergency responders were delayed, kids missed much of the morning on the first day of the school year.
Who knows how long the lane closures would have gone on if Port Authority Executive Director Patrick Foye had not ordered the closures lifted saying they jeopardized public safety.
David Wildstein cynically dismissed how children were stuck for hours on school buses. He was texting how it didn't matter because “They are the children of Buono voters." (Barbara Buono was running against Mr. Christie in the upcoming November gubernatorial election.)
I was really affected by the school bus aspect. I think it was because I found myself identifying with the anxiety many of those kids must have been feeling while stuck on a bus for hours on the first day of school.
So far several folks have lost their jobs and political appointments. Bill Baroni, the Deputy Executive Director of the Port Authority and David Wildstein have resigned. Bill Stepian, Mr. Christie's key advisor and Bridget Anne Kelly were fired.
Many others are being investigated and have been subpoenaed by State Commissions, Federal Investigators or both.
Is Chris Christie Taking It Personally that Folks Are Disloyal to Him?
It is interesting that the reason given by Mr. Christie for firing Bridget Kelly was not because she initiated an action that hurt thousands of people over those four days. No. In fact he announced "I terminated the employment of Bridget Kelly because she lied to me."
Because she lied to him?
Mr. Christie describes being "sad" and "heartbroken" that his people in his "circle of trust" had betrayed him: "It is heartbreaking to me that I wasn't told the truth. I'm a very loyal guy, and I expect loyalty in return. And lying to me is not an exhibition of loyalty."
Hmmmmmm. Another example of the me, me, me flavor of Mr. Christie's tendency to take things personally, big time.
And now more allegations of pressuring are surfacing related to the 'abuse of power' in Gov. Christie's office: Dawn Zimmer, the Mayor of Hoboken, and Olympic sprinter Carl Lewis are speaking out. (See links below.)
Who else might decide to speak out tomorrow?
There are state and federal investigations beginning and every day new documents and people are being subpoenaed.
It must be especially difficult for the governor to have the US Attorney's Office investigate his campaign and office staff – when only a few years ago Mr. Christie himself was the New Jersey US Attorney.
So what led Mr. Christie and his staff to end up in this mess?
How Did This Happen? And Why? And By Who?
Is there a plausible explanation for initiation of the e-mails between Bridget Anne Kelly and David Wildstein? What conversations came before those emails? Was there a plan? If so, what was it? Who knew about it?
Chris Christie has been described as a 'hands on' politician. However these days he has been putting much energy into emphasizing how 'hands off' his governing style really is.
At first he insisted his staff had nothing to do with the lane closings. Now that subpoenaed records show otherwise, he states he knew nothing about any plan to disrupt traffic on the bridge.
Another observation about the way Mr. Christie governs: It has been reported that he "rewards loyalty and metes out retribution for even minor slights."
Again we see what can happen when Chris Christie takes things personally!
Let's Speculate About How It Played Out
Let's say Gov. Christie did not know his staff was devising a plan to interfere with traffic on the George Washington Bridge.
What are possible explanations for what happened and why? Well it's a good guess I see several scenarios connected to taking things personally.
The media has been leaning toward two theories: First, that Gov. Christie and staff were upset at the perceived rebuff by Fort Lee Mayor Mark Sokolich who did not endorse Mr.Christie for governor. Were they getting back at him by backing up traffic throughout the 3 sq. miles of Fort Lee for 4 days?
Did this start out as a retaliatory prank and did it turn into more than they bargained for?
Another media speculation is that the closures were a power play having to do with the Hudson Lights billion dollar project at the foot of the bridge. A project vitally important to Mayor Sokolich and Fort Lee.
By showing how easily Gov. Christie could disrupt commute traffic on the Fort Lee side of the bridge, funding for the project might be threatened.
Wow, see what we can do to your prize project if you dare to cross us!
I have my own hypothesis. Perhaps there was a problem with personal boundaries and the governor's aides got a bit mixed up about what feelings belong to who. In their efforts to protect their special person maybe they took the Fort Lee mayor's rebuff of the governor personally. Maybe they were thinking a clever payback would be to retaliate against Fort Lee and its Mayor. What a great way to show support to their boss!.
If so, what a classic example of confused boundaries - being unable to differentiate what feelings belong to whom. Not being clear on where one person ends and the other begins.
OR, as many political insiders are asking "Did Chris Christie foster a culture where vindictiveness and retribution became acceptable behavior? Perhaps there has been certain permission given by prior example, where Gov. Christie's staff understands it's OK to retaliate.
"Organizations Inherit the Personality and Moral Ethics of the Person at the Very Top"
On occasion in this blog, I've described the concept of isomorphism where one context replicates another. Sometimes this idea is referred to as 'parallel process' or 'social contagion'. In this case it would be the administrative staff's actions being similar to those of their boss.
You’ve probably noticed how some images in television commercials morph from one into another. For example, a human face will change into a lion’s face or an antelope will transform into a car – right before your eyes.
Well, this is what happens with certain interactions as well. One process takes on the same properties as another. It is a mirroring of one situation by another. A reflection of one by the other. We pick up the energy of what's going on with others, and imitate it.
This is “isomorphism,”where the character and values of the leader trickles down to staff. I see it all the time with my workplace coaching clients.
According to my colleague, Allen Roland (AllenRoland.com) Rivero's Rule of mass morals: sums it up: "organizations will eventually reflect the moral character, values and ethics of the person at the very top."
"I Am Who I Am – But I Am Not a Bully"
Well, I guess that depends on how Mr. Christie defines 'bully.' Does he recognize his own history of intimidating, punishing tactics when he believes someone is disloyal to him?
The New York Times detailed several politicians who have been on the receiving end of retaliatory tactics after disagreements with Mr. Christie. "In almost every case, Mr. Christie waved off any suggestion that he had meted out retribution. But to many, the incidents have left that impression, and it has been just as powerful in scaring off others who might dare to cross him." (See link below.)
Let's talk about bullying and how it is connected to the the kind of Abuse of Power many observers are saying exists in the Governor's office.
The Abuse of Power
From Wikipedia:
Abuse of power, in the form of "malfeasance in office" or "official misconduct," is the commission of an unlawful act, done in an official capacity, which affects the performance of official duties. Malfeasance in office is often grounds for a for cause removal of an elected official by statute or recall election.
From BusinessDictionary.com
The act of using one’s position of power in an abusive way. This can take many forms such as taking advantage of someone, gaining access to information that shouldn’t be accessible to the public, or just manipulating someone with the ability to punish them if they don’t comply.
From LawDictionary.org
The basic abuse of power that can occur when they become too manipulative with those around them and the trust given to them.
I see Abuse of Power as connected to the intimidation and fear that can arise from situations where there is an Imbalance of Power.
The Imbalance of Power
From www.stopbullying.gov/
Imbalance of power: "Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior . . . that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time."
One of the books assigned in my first psychotherapy graduate program was 'Power in the Helping Professions.' It's been on my bookshelf over 30 years and I often re-read it to remind myself how easily (and subtly) power can be misused and abused.
As a workplace consultant, I've heard hundreds of stories describing unreasonable demands and harassment of the "this is what you have to do to keep your job" genre.
"I am who I am," Gov. Christie declared, "but I am not a bully."
Really? Gov. Christie, please explain your statement to me!
© Elayne Savage, PhD
And to you out there, I would love to hear your ideas and comments!
Here are some helpful links if you want more information:
Timeline of the George Washington Bridge saga: http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/01/timeline_of_the_port_authoritys_george_washington_bridge_lane_closure_controversy.html#incart_big-photo
Background of the Lane Closure: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/13/nyregion/a-bridge-to-scandal-behind-the-fort-lee-ruse.html?_r=1
Subpoenaed documents: http://articles.philly.com/2014-01-12/news/46092794_1_david-wildstein-traffic-study-port-authority#ugUojqJejUBjSWZ6.99
The Wall Street Journal has been reporting on this story since November. http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304448204579184030525950894
For copies of the documents released on 1/10/14: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303393804579314500006896102?mod=trending_now_3
Bullying: From the 12/24/13 issue of the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/25/nyregion/accounts-of-petty-retribution-reinforce-christies-bullying-image.html
Elayne Savage's comment on taking things personally, NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/25/nyregion/accounts-of-petty-retribution-reinforce-christies-bullying-image.html?comments#permid=10808378
Dawn Zimmer allegations: www.cnn.com/2014/01/20/politics/who-is-dawn-zimmer/
Carl Lewis allegations: www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/jan/21/olympian-carl-lewis-claims-chris-christie-toppled-/
More blog posts on Bullying: www.tipsfromthequeenofrejection.com/bullying/
Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages.
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