By Elayne Savage, PhD
The rampant disrespect and mean-spiritedness of this year's Presidential Campaign is really getting to me. I’m wondering if it is affecting you as well.
Like the scraping sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, this makes my skin crawl.
I don’t intend for this piece to be political. I just feel a need to write about my own queasiness and the discomfort also expressed by many of my consulting and therapy clients.
I’ve been around name-calling, dissing and bullying much of my life, and it is difficult to watch it play out to such a huge degree in the presidential campaigns.
Sure, I could choose not watch TV or read the news. Yet I find myself drawn to the drama of it all. Do you find yourself pulled in as well?
In the midst of the 2008 presidential primaries, I wrote: “I don’t believe I’ve ever experienced political campaigning where there have been so many personal attacks. The ante gets upped and the bitterness grows each day.”
During the 2011 campaign, I wrote: “I don’t believe I’ve observed political campaigning with so many personal attacks - especially this early in a campaign. It seems . . .the bitterness intensifies with each debate.“
I’ve written several times since then about disrespect in campaigning, each time saying I’ve never seen it so toxic. Wow. Was I wrong! This one has started so early in the campaigning, and the name-calling is so vicious.
Just a few weeks ago I thought something like this fiasco could never happen. Wrong again!
It Starts in the Sandbox
Do you remember the days of playing in the sandbox, when one child flicks sand at another? The picked-on child feels hurt and confused. “Why me? What did I do? Do I just sit here and take it? Do I try to ignore it and pretend nothing happened? Or do I up the ante and flick sand back?”
In this present-day situation it is usually Donald Trump who does the provoking – flicking contempt, innuendos, insults, indignities, put-downs, and cheap shots at the other primary candidates.
He is like the fisherman who throws out bait to the fish . . . and they keep on biting!
Watching this is painful to me and to many of my clients, because of the similarity to growing up being on the receiving end of hurtful words or actions. in childhood it’s not a question of if the abuse will happen, but rather, when it will happen. The waiting is nerve-wracking.
Research shows that levels of the stress hormones, adrenalin and cortisol, are affected by environments of extreme stress in childhood. These spurts of adrenaline and cortisol caused by anxiety result in depression, leading to even to more intense feelings of helplessness and overwhelm.
When children live with this ever-present anxiety, it becomes part of their identity. It follows them into adult relationships in a PSTD-sort of way, affecting future dealings with coworkers, friends, and romantic partners.
See links below for research on adrenaline and cortisol.
And to make things worse many of us seem to be reacting to and reflecting the outrageous behaviors and misbehavior of the candidates – picking up the energy of what's going on with others, and imitating it.
Clients are noticing they have become snippy and snarly with friends and family. Me too. I notice I’m more on edge, short on patience, and, yes, taking things personally.
At first I thought my reaction was just an exacerbation of my concussion from the accident a year ago. Now I realize my increased irritability symptoms are probably connected to how affected I am by the the toxicity being belched out daily by the candidates.
On the other hand, the goings on are ludicrous in a comical sort of way. It’s almost as though the politics is scripted to be as outrageous as possible – much like Theatre of the Absurd. But this sort of ‘entertainment over substance’ makes good press.
Theatre of the Absurd
The surreal quality to all of this feels like Theatre of the Absurd. Is this really happening?
Absurdism involves portraying situations where the characters raise questions but don't provide answers, where there is no assumption of purpose, and where there is no logic to motivations, creating an atmosphere of ridiculousness.
We are hearing the voices of the disempowered where the behaviors of these candidates seem to border on the ridiculous. Most of them appear to be overly-sensitive, taking things personally and out of control in their knee-jerk responses.
It would be difficult not to take things personally in this campaign. One personal affront after another is hurled through space. Not exactly 'Ready. Aim. Fire.' More like 'Ready. Fire. Aim.'
Trump’s Taunts
As each candidate waits their turn to be the latest recipient of Trump’s Taunts, the ante gets upped because there is so much at stake here: media time, headlines, and a spot on the main stage for the first Primary Debate where only 10 contenders out of the field of 17 can appear on TV.
As polls show voters are unexpectedly going for Donald Trump, the other candidates feel threatened and desperate. The situation has disintegrated to the point where it appears the only way they can get headlines is to out-Trump Trump. And they appear to be acting out for attention – and sacrificing their dignity.
How would they comport themselves as President of the United States in a crisis situation or if a world power was critical of their ideas or actions?
It has been fascinating watching media pundits trying to figure out what is happening here that businessman Donald Trump is the leader of the pack in the polls. How can it be that he breaks the rules and is defying all political patterns?
Trump brags about his huge net worth and big business experience as qualifications for his run for President of the United States.Yet his business have declared bankruptcy four times seeking Chapter 11 protection – in 1991, 1992, 2004, and 2009.
"I've used the laws of this country to pare debt. We'll have the company. We'll throw it into a chapter (11.) We'll negotiate with the banks. We'll make a fantastic deal. You know, it's like on 'The Apprentice.' It's not personal. It's just business.”
See the link below to Donald Trump's comments on bankruptcy
I’m Mad As Hell, and I’m not Going to Take it Anymore!
So why is Donald Trump so popular with voters? Do they find his candor refreshing? Does he speak to their frustration with Washington politicians? Is he speaking for them – unleashing the anger and intensity they fantasize about expressing?
Is Donald Trump giving voters permission to scream out their windows: “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!”
What are your ideas about what’s going on here?
In spite of the disturbing nature of the campaigning we can learn a lot about ourselves by noticing it's effect on us.
I find the best way to deal with it is to focus on the humor of it all - and I remind myself to detach and observe it as if I am watching a Theatre of the Absurd dramatic performance.
By the way, I often offer this suggestion when clients describe being nervous about visiting family members or attending an important business meeting: "See if you can step back from it all. Imagine you are watching the cast of characters in a Pinter or Beckett play!"
I know I’m writing about this sort of prematurely - there is so much more to come. I’m sure there will be more to observe and comment on after the debates begin.
I’d love to hear your impressions and comments and guesses as to what might happen on the debate stage.
Oh, and I've discovered smudging helps a lot to clear the air. I’ll be sure and bring my sage stick while I watch the debate.
More about childhood stress and it’s effect on adult functioning:
http://www.directessays.com/viewpaper/48493.html
http://www.asca.org.au/about/resources/impact-on-the-physiology-of-the-brain.aspx
More a about Donald Trump’s bankruptcy interview on ABC:
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-filed-bankruptcy-times/story?id=13419250
© Elayne Savage, PhD
Until next time,
Elayne
Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages.
Both books are now available on Kindle!
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