By Elayne Savage, PhD
I don't usually scare easily, but I find worry is replacing concern and fear is replacing worry when North Korean Foreign Minister Ri Yong Ho accused our President of making "a declaration of war."
According to Reuters “Ri was reacting to our President's Twitter comments that Kim Jong Un and Ri ‘won't be around much longer.’”
And it’s scary how quickly tensions are escalating. Where is the line? When does it get crossed? When do things spin out of control?
Reuters also reports: “Bellicose statements by our President and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un in recent weeks have created fears that a miscalculation could lead to action with untold ramifications, particularly since Pyongyang conducted its sixth and most powerful nuclear test . . .”
I recognize the huge risks involved in this kind of behavior. As a psychotherapist and workplace consultant, I explore how these kinds of rejecting messages – confrontational/ threatening statements, taunts, lashing out and name-calling and – can lead to escalating tensions and taking things personally.
Flicking Sand in a Sandbox
In Don’t Take It Personally! I describe how easily behavior can escalate when two tots in a sandbox begin flicking sand at each other:
“It doesn’t take much for feelings to get hurt. A lot of times it starts in the sandbox, when one child flicks sand at another. The picked-on child feels hurt and confused. ‘Why me? What did I do? Do I just sit here and take it? Do I try to ignore it and pretend nothing happened? Or do I up the ante and flick sand back?’”
I can't think of a more apt visual to describe the flinging of taunts between Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un and our President.
I sure would feel more secure if I had a different visual image of these two leaders –– sitting at a negotiating table, showing respect and acting like grownups.
Can Insults Really Start a War?
History books describe WW I starting when decade-long tensions in Europe over the arms race, political alliances, and a growing sense of nationalism all came to a head when Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated in Sarajevo in June 1914 by a Serbian nationalist.
However there's a back story here describing how taunts and insults and taking things personally actually contributed mightily to starting the war.
Germany’s Kaiser Wilhelm II is considered by many to have provoked the outbreak of WW I because of his undisciplined rants and bitter criticisms of European leaders, several of whom were his cousins.
Here are a few Wikipedia descriptions of Wilhelm from my December 2016 blog:
- bombastic and impetuous, he sometimes made tactless pronouncements on sensitive topics without consulting his ministers
- critics judged Wilhelm to be completely unable to handle the great responsibilities of his position, a ruler too reckless to deal with power
- seen as superficial, hasty, restless, unable to relax, without any deeper level of seriousness or sense of sobriety, for balance and boundaries, or even for reality and real problems
- concerned with asserting his will. Because he was the ruler of the leading Continental power this trait was one of the main causes of the uneasiness prevailing in Europe at the turn-of-the century
If you are intrigued by Wilhelm’s colorful personality, here’s a link to my blog about him.
Did Taunts, Insults and Taking Things Personally Start WWI?
Is it my imagination or is there an uncanny personality overlay between our President and Kaiser Wilhelm II ?
Just as I’m posting this, I happened to read Bill Moyers perspective-enhancing interview with international relations historian Andrew Bacevich addressing the hurled insults between Kim Jong Un and our President : Can a War of Words Become a World of War?
(What a great title! Sure wish I had thought of it!)
I wonder if Bill Moyers and Andrew Bacevich might be feeling scared too . . .
© Elayne Savage, PhD
Until next month,
Elayne
Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages.
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