By Elayne Savage, PhD
The other day when nothing was going right I felt like I just needed to scream. So I headed to the car wash.
I’ve done this maybe two times over the years, but not in a long, long time.
I let out long, loud scream as my car was going through. It felt great!
Some folks run hard and feel a great release.
Some folks get relief by screaming into a pillow.
I’ve heard about to punching a pillow. Or even pounding a pillow with a baseball bat.
I opted for the car wash.
What brought me to this point was waking up to no wi-fi and no email. Both died over night – completely unrelated to each other!
I realized I had missed my GoDaddy deadline to renew my Outlook email account. Unlfortunately I had trusted their reminder that I had another week. Apparently not true and they stopped my emails.
The wi-fi decided on its own accord to stop working. Comcast and I restarted it with a new password.
But wait, there’s more: my CrashPlan cloud backup hadn’t been working and after contact with the help desk and many many many attempts at uninstalls and re-installs it still wasn’t working when everything else stopped that dreadful morning.
I was of course already feeling incredibly isolated from the world while sheltering in place since
mid-March. The thought of NO contact from my computer was more than I could bear.
And I completely lost it.
Bleary-eyed and Exhausted
My work with therapy clients these days focuses on helping to navigate fears and uncertainties. This means long, blurry-eyed hours at the computer because we are seeing everyone remotely now.
I really miss the energy that used to be in the room when we were working face-to- face.
And seeing couples and families online takes a heap of concentration. I actually had been mostly using my iphone for these sessions while my laptop had been in and out of the shop for repair for two weeks.
Every colleague I talk to describes being absolutely exhausted at the end of each day.
Seems like every week on my list-serves there are announcements of new support groups forming for therapists!
You might say these changes have been taking a toll on us therapists.
For many decades as a Social Worker and as a therapist in private practice I’ve helped clients meet their challenges of extreme stress, anxiety and depression. Over the years I’ve offered some guidance and ideas on dealing. And together we would conjure up ways for calming the stress and releasing pent up energy.
And yes, I have in fact many times suggested the screaming-in-the-car-wash idea.
Here are a few that might be useful during the anxieties and constraints of the pandemic.
Ways for Calming Stress and Releasing Pent Up Energy
Putting words to it – writing thoughts down and reading it to yourself out loud. Yes, out loud makes it more powerful –– try it!
I've started doing yoga again via weekly Zoom instruction . . . and I love it. I'm reminded to do the alternate nostril breathing I learned many years ago. I'd forgotten how calming it can be!
Create a daily routine that involves movement, and when possible, exposure to natural light.
Physical exercise is great – running, hiking, online exercise videos or Zoom classes and even dancing around the room. Have you tried taking a walk and breathing in the surrounding colors?
What about picking up some take-out including little treats and picnicking in a park, or a friend's garden, where you can stay a safe distance and enjoy in the air and sunshine.
Staying connected during this isolating time helps a lot. Think about a person who connection feels important. Ask yourself exactly how you know you were feeling connected to that person. What would work best for you . . . and for them?
https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/d7/priv/sma14-4893.pdf
A few months ago I blogged about Coping with Uncertainty, Isolation and Empty Space
and there are a few ideas there as well.
So there are quite a few self-care options to choose from.Try Googling 'self-care during the pandemic.'
And on that morning I was so upset, I chose screaming in the car wash. It felt terrific!
© Elayne Savage, PhD
Until next month,
Elayne
Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages.
Both books are now available on Kindle!
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