Illustration by Barbara Dale. © Dale Enterprises, Inc.
Over 3 years ago, I blogged about what a big mess our president was making.
To help visualize my original So Who Will Clean Up Trump’s Big Mess? blog, I asked renowned illustrator Barbara Dale to show Donald in diapers while acting out.
Back then I compared the behavior of our President with that of a toddler.
Confusion Between Fact and Fantasy, Truth and Fiction
Toddlers see themselves as the center of their universe – very me - me - me oriented with no ability to see another person’s perspective.
Related to this egocentrism is magical thinking, the belief that one’s own thoughts, wishes, or desires can influence the external world.
Young children live midway between the world of magic and the world of reality. Children from ages 3 to 7 create imaginary worlds in their play. Sometimes they’re not clear where their creations leave off and the real world begins.
In Don’t Take It Personally! I quote one of my favorite descriptions of the magic world of children in The Magic Years by one of my teachers, Selma Fraiberg:
“In the fantastic world of a two-year-old, all things are possible … Fact and fantasy are confused because they’re fused together in the child’s mind, and their thinking style is dominated by fantasies and wishes.”
Children usually outgrow magical thinking by the age of 6 or 7, yet some never quite outgrow this confusion between truth and fiction, continuing to stretch the truth when they are grown ups.
Why? To get attention. To impress. To avoid trouble. To avoid conflict. To cover tracks. To shift blame.
Unfortunately others tend to see this behavior as deceitful and untrustworthy. Especially when there is out-of -control- non-stop lying.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325982#what-is-pathological-lying
Fraiberg makes the point that “The child feels he or she is the center of the world, believing that wishful thinking will make things happen . . .
The Poster Child for Taking Things Personally
For years I’ve been blogging about our President’s childlike ways of dealing with conflict, criticism and perceived rejection.
I call him the Poster Child for taking things personally and lashing out: blaming, insulting, bullying , shaming, attacking, putting down, fuming, brooding and retaliating.
And as we’ve seen, if a cabinet member or federal civil servant dares to disagree with him, that person would be fired. Reminiscent of the Queen of Hearts in Wonderland: “Off with their heads!”
https://www.tipsfromthequeenofrejection.com/lashing-out/
Chaos and Unpredictability
The Trump White House is often described by staff as “Chaotic.”
– steady barrages of unpredictability, impulsivity, changeableness, inconsistency, unreliability, volatility
– bickering, accusations and high drama
– personal, vindictive attacks and distrust
– bullying and name-calling
– blatant lying, exaggerations and distortions
– boundarylessness
– illogical thinking and flawed judgment
– fuzzy and confused communication
– self-justification and needing to make the other person ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’
– blaming others for own missteps, never acknowledging responsibility or apologizing for making a mistake
– crazy-making “you’re imagining it” repeated denials of what we know we have heard and seen. This is often referred to as 'gaslighting.'
– deflecting by veering into irrelevant asides
– making and taking back statements, promises and threats.
Much of this behavior is very immature and shows up in frequent tantrums.
The President’s recent press conference response to Reuters reporter Jeff Mason’s query showed how infantile he can be:
“Don’t talk to me that way. You’re just a lightweight...I’m the president of the United States. Don’t ever talk to the president that way.”
This was the same press conference where he was seated at a miniscule desk which reminded me of Back to School Night when parents try to squeeze their large frames into the tiny desks of their second grade children!
What could he have been thinking to invite such mockery by sitting his large frame down at that tiny table?
It’s a question I often ask myself: What could he be thinking when he launches relentless retaliatory attacks against one-time allies who he believes betrayed him by questioning his ideas or decisions. No one is exempt: cabinet members, judiciary, civil servants, heads of government agencies, members of Congress, our national institutions, and always, the media.
How Could Trump Retaliate? Let Me Count the Ways
Ever since President Trump has contested the November 3rd election of Joe Biden I have been asking myself this question: If our President decided to retaliate for this loss, how might he ‘get back’ at the millions of voters he feels are disloyal and betrayed him by voting for Joe Biden and how he will punish President-Elect Biden for winning?
My answer is unsettling: I see him starting a war while thinking, “That will show them – they’ll all be really, really sorry.”
I have shared my fears with close friends and family: that our President will feel so betrayed by millions of voters that he will retaliate by attempting to start a war that Joe Biden will have to deal with. There are lots of big messes he is leaving for the Biden Administration, a war would be just one more.
The most likely country for Trump to attack would be Iran.
I read in Reuters that Trump had recently asked his top National Security advisors “for options for attacking Iran but they disagreed, and he held off.”
https://mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUSKBN27X026
And I also read on NPR how “Pompeo's Latest Israel Trip Could Have Implications For Biden's Presidency”
https://www.npr.org/2020/11/20/936973301/pompeos-latest-israel-trip-could-have-implications-for-bidens-presidency
And again in Forbes:
“The Israeli Military Braces For Possible Trump Iran Strike In Final Days Of Presidency”
https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackbrewster/2020/11/25/report-israeli-military-braces-for-possibility-trump-attacks-iran-in-final-days-of-presidency/amp/
And what about the assassination last week of Iran’s top nuclear scientist? The Iranians are blaming it on Israel and interestingly enough the assassination happened just after Pompeo’s Israeli visit described by BBC: “Secretary Pompeo made clear that the Trump administration's top Middle East priority is to counter Iran, to stop its "wave of regional destruction and global campaign of terror".
https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-us-canada-46908510
And now from the Washington Post:
“Iraq fears Trump’s final weeks could see confrontation between U.S. and Iran”
Can our President, while in the middle of throwing a barrage of election fraud tantrums, be capable of making logical decisions regarding our national security should a sudden conflict arise with Iran?
When I blogged about President Trump’s messes 3 years ago, I didn’t imagine it could come to this: making such a big mess for his successor and for the American people!
And yet four years ago in 2016, a group of veteran psychotherapists put out a Therapists Manifesto as a blatant warning but no one listened!
Many thanks to my brother, Lee Raskin for his astute contributions . . .
© Elayne Savage, PhD
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